Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Someone once called me that. In hindsight, I am not so gifted with words; I am more comfortable at feeling emotions as they play out, and sensing them in other people. Sometimes I get moments of clarity when everything seems to be clear but for the briefest of moments; some might refer to it as an epiphany. When this happens I try to get it down in writing. Without further ado, my emotions, given the written form.

Fanaticism – A fool the other day once told me that religion was a place we could find common ground. I laughed cynically in my heart, for he had yet to realize that religion was what divided us most from each other. It makes us kill in the name of God, and excuses atrocities that even the most cold-hearted daemon would look away from. It is in our zealotry that we commit our foulest acts. The ones who question will always be offered a measure of protection for their minds against this.

Freedom  – To say that we are all free to choose God is a hilarity of the highest order. Free will is not the choice between fluffy white clouds and everlasting torment. That is blackmail. That is fear-mongering. That is bullshit. No God worth his salt would even make such an offer except to cow weak-willed sheep into his fold. And what good are followers like those?

Folly – To ask a question is to expect an answer. But the power of asking is not in the answer, it is in the question. For doubt is the father of such utterances, and self-realization is the fruit of his loins. If one were to never have doubt, one was already lost. To have doubt is to know that there is a chance that you might be wrong. And you almost always are.

Frail – The knowledge we are easily malleable and broken when we allow ourselves to be. The fear that we have no control over this process. The foolishness that stems from giving control of who we are to another person who has no idea how to shape you as well as yourself.


In the end, I wrote something that felt far removed from my original intention. Conversations can do that to you.


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